Lead Me Not Into Temptation Towel

Winter Fat is Now Spring Rolls Towel

I Wish Everything Was As Easy Towel

Buy Your Mom a Bottle of Wine Towel

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to school together.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 5 years in a row..

Going to bed early
Not leaving my house
Not going to a party

My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next"

So I've started doing the same thing at funerals.